How NOT to write a CV - top tips for Poles

Back from Lublin, where UK firms were recruiting (more) Poles to work in the UK. So enamoured are British employers with the talents, work ethic and qualifications of Polish workers, it's easy to forget that for every one "Pawel the Plumber, Krystyna the Cardiologist or Anna the Architect", there's ten wannabees back home who just don't cut it.

Some of the most glaring errors made in CVs coming to light at the Lublin job fair include:

"Marital status: Slow" (a literal translation - 'wolny' = slow)
"Marital status: Cavalier" (a lazy translation - not bothering to consult a dictionary)
"Last employer: ___________ Company From About About"
(Literal translation of Spolka z o.o. !!!!)
"... little hair business" for "biznes wloski" (trusting too much in the powers of an on-line dictionary)
"Hobbies and Interests: Aj lajk tu bejk kejk" (handwritten CV put together phonetically, assisted by bilingual friend over the phone)

Still, most UK employers and employment agencies present at the fair were more than happy with the people they did recruit...